don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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