Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
