Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
