You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize