Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
