When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
