new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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