Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
