Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
