I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
