There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
