dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
