After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
