u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
