Im at strip club and am horny
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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