This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
