I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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