so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
