Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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