I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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