if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she looked like the before picture.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
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