a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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