She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
