Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
