sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
