I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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