Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
