Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's just like the Real World with babies
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
