Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.

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(208): View more from Idaho

just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK

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(860): View more from Connecticut

If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Fair enough.

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(813): View more from Florida

I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!

(303): View more from Colorado

Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.

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