I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize