if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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