yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We have started to decorate penises.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize