I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i believe in u and ur pee
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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