he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
