She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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