We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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