He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Someone signed my nipple.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
