Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
