We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
