I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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