I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
