Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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