So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
