No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
soo... how was my night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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