Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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