can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
