we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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