Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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