I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
PANTIES FOUND
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
