And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
