Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
