It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize