Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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