Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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