Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
