So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dignity is for republicans.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
