Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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