remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
