I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
