what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Welp...herpes.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
