When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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