i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
