Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I enjoy the company of your penis
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